another reminder

and stars have died so that you may live

8 notes

destyneelove:

I feel like people get anxious or embarrassed about saying nice things about others because it looks ‘fangirly’ or desperate or something and I’m not into it.

So I wanna shoutout to thunderboltsortofapenny and ink-phoenix for being a couple people that dig Cap and are conversational when I invade with AU angst and make me go ‘hey, not everyone sucks’ on a regular basis.

Like, I wish I knew people like them irl because even the bits of conversation we’ve had are super pleasant and I appreciate their existence in my tumblr world. You two are cool.

Down with feeling weird about saying nice things.

Filed under I AM VERKLEMPT you are an absolute sweetheart ahhh

102 notes

ink-phoenix:

Alright kids, let’s talk about coping mechanisms.

There are multiple kinds of coping mechanisms. Generally they can be grouped under ‘healthy’ and ‘unhealthy.’

Notice how I didn’t say ‘good’ or ‘bad’?

Because often a coping mechanism is developed when someone’s drowning and they’re trying to stay alive. We develop our ways to fight back, to deal, to survive, at the best of our abilities whilst trying to process and deal with our trauma. 

I’m not endorsing self-harm. I’m not endorsing drug use. I’m not endorsing any of a million different unhealthy ways I’ve seen people rely on as a manner of coping. 

But for fuck’s sake, do not blame a trauma survivor for how they cope with said trauma. That won’t fucking help anyone. That will make them feel nothing but shame, pain, guilt, reinforce that they’re at fault, that they’re fucked up, irremediably fucked up.  

You know what you can do? Help them. Help them find better ways to cope. Suggest a therapist, and if they’re not open to the idea just then, don’t push. Try again later. Be there for them if you can. And do not, do not make them feel guilty for how they are coping. Reinforce the fact that their coping mechanisms, however unhealthy, helped them get there. Helped them make it through. Kept them alive. Try and remind them they are worth more than they can see. That they are more than the sum of their parts. Make them feel accepted, and loved no matter what they did to themselves while they tried to survive. 

They survived and your job as a friend, as a support group, is not to belittle them for how they managed to do it, but to be there for them, and help them bridge the gap to a healthier way of coping, dealing, healing, and getting to a better place.

I repeat, there’s no such thing as a bad coping mechanism. You cope. That’s the point of it. If someone you love is using an unhealthy coping mechanism, be gentle; be kind; be patient. Try to show them they don’t have to do use that anymore, point them towards better ways to handle it. Allow them to be angry, and lash out, and feel righteous in their fury. Remember words can break people. Be aware of the damage you can do. Ask about triggers.

And if you can’t stick it through, that is also a prerogative of yours. Everyone needs to do what they have to do to protect themselves, and nobody should set themselves on fire to keep someone else warm. There can come a point where you need to cut someone out, especially if the person refuses help, and the relationship has become one sided, or abusive - which is why you should try, as much as you can, to help them get to a therapist, to get professional help. Friends aren’t therapists. They’re the supporting crutches, not the casts for the broken bones. 

But for the love of god, don’t make a trauma survivor feel guilty for what they did to survive. 

They survived. That’s accomplishment enough.

Filed under *prints it out* *posts it everywhere she goes* coping mechanisms self-worth recovery archive this

13 notes

handwritingofgod asked: Got any ideas for PA codenames?

Yes. Yes in fact I do.

The First Family

Steven Grant Rogers - Brooklyn

Sarah Rogers - Rover

Vice President and Family

Melinda May - Calvary

Suyin May - Clover

Cabinet and Joint Chiefs

James “Rhodey” Rhodes - Patriot

Nicholas “Nick” J Fury - Visio

Maria Hill - Stalwart

Senior Staff

James “Bucky” Barnes - Rifle, Beacon

Anthony “Tony” Stark - Ferrum

Bruce Banner - Gamma

Clinton “Clint” Francis Barton - Hawkeye

Natasha Romanoff - Karakurt, Flamingo

Additional Protectees

*as relevant to the plot

Peter Parker - Anansi

MJ Watson - Serenity

Virginia “Pepper” Potts - Firebird

Alexander Pierce - Searchlight

Foreign Dignitaries and Family

Margaret “Peggy” Carter-Jones - Regent

Gabriel Jones - Rebel

Michael “Mikey” Carter-Jones - Rook

Kathleen “Katie” Carter-Jones - Rainbow

Thor Odinson - Volt

Loki Laufeyson - Fenrir

T’Challa - Panther

Filed under President America castlist codenames this took more effort than I thought it would